Why Giftedness Isn’t Special
And Why That’s a Hard Truth to Swallow
The other day, I had an interesting exchange on LinkedIn with Gifted Professionals and Communicators about how we, as gifted individuals, navigate our experiences. The conversation revolved around a common assumption—that refinement, deeper thinking, or self-enhancement will somehow set us free. But is that really true?
Too often, we frame giftedness as something special—an advantage, a burden, or a trait that sets us apart. But what if that perception itself is the real challenge? What if our relentless search for meaning, our tendency to reflect back what others don’t want to see, is precisely what creates friction?
This piece explores a difficult truth about giftedness: it’s not about being special—it’s about learning how to exist in a world that doesn’t always know what to do with depth and complexity.
The Will to Meaning: Navigating the Gifted Experience
Much has been written about how we—the gifted—think, process, and describe our world. We often discuss how our reasoning differs from that of others, but how do we truly make sense of it all? We stretch our capacity to articulate concepts that cannot be contained in simple terms, yet sometimes, we mistake this effort for the solution itself.
We must refine not just how we think, but how we perceive—expanding our understanding rather than assuming our intellect alone will liberate us. Giftedness is not the problem; rather, the challenge lies in the belief that our abilities and self-enhancement will lead to ultimate freedom.
The will to meaning is a fundamental force that drives us. The tension between seeking meaning and navigating environments that don’t always accommodate depth and complexity is both a burden and a gift. Intelligence becomes a mirror, reflecting both our insights and the limitations of those around us. And here lies the real difficulty—when people are confronted with truths they are not ready to see, they often react with resistance or even resentment.
There’s a scientific basis for this: challenging someone’s perception can activate the brain’s threat detection system—the amygdala, the center of our fight-or-flight response. When people feel their worldview is being disrupted, it can trigger a defensive reaction. This is not just a social or emotional phenomenon; it is a neurological reality.
So where does this leave us? Perhaps the real challenge is not in refining our thinking for its own sake but in learning how to engage with the world without isolating ourselves. Instead of framing giftedness as an advantage or a burden, maybe the opportunity lies in connection—bridging the gap between complexity and clarity, depth and accessibility.
How do we navigate this balance? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for your understanding!
Cheers,
Ron
Well said, Ron! This special treatment nonsense is really starting to make me throw up. What bothers me most is how it blatantly exposes a lack of deeper understanding. More often than not, it stems from external influences that reinforce the beliefs we think we hold — a bias.
Ironically, thinking is an external process — it thrives on engagement with and absorption of the outside world. Perception, on the other hand, is purely internal, shaping how we interpret what comes in. It's disheartening to see people, especially the so-called "gifted", unquestioningly accept the roles assigned to them by external forces. If they so easily succumb to confirmation bias, are they truly "gifted" to begin with?
But hey, what if we flipped the script? What if we rewired our perception — took ourselves as the baseline, the norm? Suddenly, you're no longer a minority, no longer something lesser. Instead, the world revolves around your actions, rather than your reactions. In this state, you have no choice but to navigate reality as it is — no matter how clueless the cashier at the register might be. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how to interact with people to get things done — whether alone or, even better, together.
Thanks for getting this conversation rolling.
If you have the patience to go deep to achieve context, I recommend the books and many articles by Deborah Ruf, Ph.D. She's put more than 50 years of research and eyewitness accounts to thousands of humans, across multiple levels of giftedness. Her Substack is Gifted Through the Lifespan. https://deborahruf.substack.com
Her books include 5 Levels of Gifted, The 5 Levels of Gifted Children Grown Up, and Losing Our Minds: Too Many Gifted Children Left Behind.
The scientific community and funding agencies are late to the party on gifted brains in humans. Most of what you find when you research it is about children, their parents, and teachers. Even though that's a hot mess, there was very little about what happens from 18 to death. Adulthood. Careers. Relationships. Decades of decisions and trying to fit in while not losing your identity and talents. Nada. Zip.
Very little is dedicated to the lifespan and that makes it a wide-open field for doing great things and for hucksters selling their solutions to barely understood situations.