The Hidden Power of Being Gifted

Here's what worked for me (and could work for you, too).

Nov 11, 2024

In this article, I promise to reveal the untold truths about living with giftedness—how it shaped my life, my career, and my relationships. I’ll share the powerful lessons I’ve learned from my own journey of intensity and liberation, and how you can apply these insights to find balance and authenticity in your own life. You’ll gain a deeper understanding of giftedness, not as a gift, but as a complex, often misunderstood experience that can drive you to extraordinary heights—or leave you feeling unfulfilled.

This article isn’t just a reflection; it’s a guide based on years of lived experience and self-discovery. By paying for this, you’re investing in a real, actionable approach to embracing your own gifts, overcoming the challenges they bring, and learning how to create lasting personal and professional transformation.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or misunderstood, this article offers clarity—and most importantly, hope that you’re not alone.

Introduction: A Hidden Force Within Me

Discovering Giftedness Late in Life
I didn’t recognise my giftedness until I was 53, so I never understood why I experienced life with such intensity. It wasn’t chaos, but an unrelenting force that drove me—often surprising even myself—to make bold, seemingly impulsive choices, like quitting jobs without warning. This intensity came from somewhere deep within, and though it was at times overwhelming, it was also liberating, propelling me forward in my career and pushing me to new levels.

Yet, while this drive was powerful, it wasn’t always fulfilling. My path was anything but smooth, marked by a constant push-pull between ambition and a sense of something missing. It shaped me into who I am today-living authentically, resiliently, and deeply connected to who I truly am, but it came with its share of challenges. Perhaps the most remarkable thing is that, despite the unpredictability and intensity of this journey, my relationship with my wife has endured for nearly 40 years. Isn’t that unusual in this context?

Isn’t that unusual in this context?

In this article, I’ll share how I’ve navigated this journey of self-discovery and balance, embracing the gifts—and challenges—that come with being gifted. Maybe it works for you too.

The Struggles of Being Gifted

When Power Feels Like a Burden
Giftedness hasn’t always meant smooth success for me. While it drove my career forward, it also left me with an ongoing sense of dissatisfaction—a persistent gap between my drive to achieve and a nagging emptiness that often followed. For all its potential, giftedness can sometimes feel isolating and unfulfilling.

I vividly remember quitting my first job after just eight months. I came home early that day, frustrated, and threw myself into digging up the garden—a task I’d been putting off. Four hours later, I’d completed the job, and my adrenaline had finally settled. “I needed an outlet,” I realized. Earlier that month, I’d interviewed for a role as Maintenance Lead, and shortly after leaving my first job, I accepted that offer. I spent five fulfilling years there. But then, the same frustrating pattern emerged: the promotion I was promised didn’t happen because I was “too valuable” in my current role. This theme of being held back for being “irreplaceable” repeated throughout my career—even when I was put forward by the central Works Council as a potential group CEO.

In the meantime, I had already started my own management and interim company, successfully turning around high-risk projects. I was also a part-time lecturer in Technical Business Administration at the University of Applied Sciences for over nine years. Hundreds of students filled my classrooms, eager to learn, and I made lasting friendships with many of my colleagues. But some, especially those with a long line of titles before their names, seemed almost territorial, resistant to my presence.

“At first, I brushed it off.” But about a year into my tenure, as I faced these dynamics in meetings, it became impossible to ignore. I reached my limit and ultimately decided to leave.

In many ways, the intensity of giftedness can be a powerful asset. But without an outlet that aligns with your values and aspirations, it can start to feel more like a weight—pushing you forward but never quite bringing fulfillment.

From the perspective of others, I must have seemed driven, intense, and impulsive—someone who made bold, sometimes unexpected decisions, like quitting jobs on the spot or pursuing new paths with relentless focus. To colleagues and employers, I was both invaluable and challenging—a skilled person who moved fast, pushed boundaries, and at times, disrupted the comfort of those who preferred stability. My intensity was both admirable and intimidating, leaving people wondering what drove this relentless force.

But now, seeing through these dynamics has become one of my greatest skills.

For me, though, it was about authority—the ways they tried to keep me small to protect their own comfort and control. Back then, I was so eager to move forward that I didn’t recognize this behavior for what it was. But now, seeing through these dynamics has become one of my greatest skills.

The Turning Point: Finding Liberation

How Intensity Became My Strength
This section focuses on the moment I realized that the very intensity I’d always wrestled with could actually be channeled for liberation. I’ll share how embracing my giftedness—with all its challenges—led to powerful breakthroughs in both personal and professional growth, empowering me to take charge of my path and find deeper fulfillment.

As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t recognize my giftedness until I was 53. I was fortunate that someone noticed my struggle during a board meeting and had the courage to speak to me about it afterward. That conversation changed everything, and I’m still grateful to her for it. Let me be that person for you.

I took her advice to heart and began reading everything I could on giftedness, though I kept it to myself—who knew what people would think? When I finally shared it with my wife, she surprised me with, “Didn’t you know? I’ve known all along.”

As I read, I recognized so much of myself in those pages. Suddenly, the choices I’d made and the intuition I’d followed finally had context. Yet, with this clarity came a deep sadness. What if I’d known sooner? Could I have become the group CEO, finished my master’s thesis on leadership, or even pursued a PhD? Processing this grief was hard. I spent countless hours cycling to clear my mind, often visiting my father’s grave—a man who died too young at 51 and understood me without words.

But soon enough, it was time to move forward. Now that I understood what was driving me, I felt ready to apply it. I began to recognize my unique skill set and felt drawn to share my journey—not as a focal point, but as a way to illuminate the nuances of giftedness. I set up my own coaching practice, guiding clients through transformative journeys, often helping them uncover insights they never expected. Alongside my coaching, I took on projects where I consciously applied my skills in a way that involved clients directly—without creating any sense of threat or discomfort for them.

In this way, I transformed what once felt like a burden into a gift—not just for me, but for others as well.

Balance and Fulfillment: The Road to Peace

Embracing Who I Am
The journey toward balance wasn’t quick, but it was truly transformational. In this section, I’ll share how I found peace with my gifts and integrated them into a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

As a certified Transformational Coach, I take a hands-on approach. My innate sensitivity allows me to bring clients to the edge of their transformation without pushing them too far. I do not engage in endless sessions of complaints, but always with respect. I believe this goes beyond traditional coaching—it’s more about acting as a guide and mentor. And that’s exactly who I am: a teacher. This has always been the throughline in my career. And it’s also what my ‘bosses’ couldn’t stand: leading people simply by being there.

Though I’ve had much to learn, I’ve come to fully trust the unknown path. I’m a true believer in letting go and living in the present moment because it has been proven to me, time and again. The idea of “going inside” has become a hollow phrase for many today, but the real question is: What are you seeking when you go in there? What do you expect to find? And perhaps most importantly, how do you actually do it?

Over time, I’ve come to understand the work that must be done to truly uncover the essence of my life. This has brought me tremendous confidence, a confidence that was always there, but now grounded in deep insight. This newfound understanding brings not only peace but also stability in my life and the lives of those around me.

How This Can Work for You Too

Applying My Lessons to Your Life
This final part will provide actionable advice on how you can navigate your own experience with giftedness. Whether you feel overwhelmed or misunderstood, I’ll give you tools to embrace your unique gifts, overcome challenges, and create balance in your life.

As someone who has walked the path of discovering and embracing giftedness, I can tell you firsthand that the challenges are real—but so are the rewards. The lessons I’ve learned on this journey can be applied to your own life, no matter where you are in your process of self-discovery.

Embrace Your Uniqueness: Giftedness often comes with the feeling of being different, and that can be isolating. However, it’s important to recognize that this uniqueness is not a flaw—it’s your strength. By accepting and celebrating what makes you different, you can tap into the power of your gifts and begin to use them intentionally.
Trust the Process: My journey wasn’t smooth, and neither will yours be. There were moments of doubt, sadness, and confusion. But in hindsight, every experience helped me grow. Trust that the challenges you face now are part of your growth and development. Your path may not be straightforward, but it will be uniquely yours.
Create Healthy Boundaries: I learned the hard way how important it is to set boundaries. Gifted people often feel the pressure to take on more than they can handle, especially when they are in high-stakes environments. By learning to say no, you can protect your energy and focus on what truly matters to your personal and professional growth.
Find Your Own Balance: It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of giftedness. The key is to find a rhythm that works for you. Creating time for introspection, rest, and connection can help you feel more grounded and at peace with yourself. When you know how to manage your energy, you can unlock your full potential.
Use Your Gifts to Guide Others: Just as I found fulfillment in teaching and guiding others, you can, too. Giftedness is not just for personal achievement—it can be a powerful tool for helping others unlock their potential. Whether in coaching, mentoring, or leadership, sharing your journey with others can be incredibly rewarding.
Practice Self-Compassion: Giftedness can come with a heavy burden, but it’s important to show yourself kindness. Instead of criticizing yourself for not fitting in or feeling different, practice understanding and compassion. Self-acceptance is the foundation for living a fulfilling life as a gifted individual.

By applying these lessons, you can transform the challenges of giftedness into stepping stones for greater personal fulfillment, growth, and success. Giftedness doesn’t have to be a struggle—it can be a powerful force for good in your life and in the lives of those you touch.

Conclusion: Embrace Your Intensity, Find Your Balance

In this article, I’ve shared my personal journey of discovering and embracing my giftedness—how I struggled with the intensity of it, how it shaped my career, and how it ultimately led me to a more balanced, authentic life. Through challenges and moments of deep reflection, I learned to channel the power of my gifts, transforming them from a source of frustration into a foundation for growth and fulfillment.

“Giftedness is not a curse, but a powerful tool.”

The core of my message is simple: “Giftedness is not a curse, but a powerful tool.” When understood and embraced, it becomes a unique strength that can propel you forward in both your personal and professional life. It’s not about battling your gifts; it’s about mastering them.

To truly live in harmony with your giftedness, you must be willing to embrace your uniqueness, trust the process of growth, set healthy boundaries, and be kind to yourself along the way. And most importantly, by sharing your journey and helping others, you can create an even greater sense of purpose and fulfillment.

“Your giftedness is not something to hide or downplay—it’s your superpower.”

If you are a gifted individual, I encourage you to apply these lessons to your life. It’s a process, but one that can lead to profound personal transformation. The challenges you face today can become the stepping stones that help you build a more fulfilled and empowered future.

“You don’t have to navigate this journey alone—there are ways to harness your gifts and turn them into strengths that will serve both you and the world around you.”

Now, it’s your turn to take the steps toward living in alignment with your true potential.

I wish you the very best of luck. Thank you for being there!
Ron

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